Friday, 15 August 2014
Some people don't love to drive such as my husband. He does not like to drive. But me me me... i LOVE driving! Except driving to a place which i don't know the road and i am all alone! haha. That one i hate lor.
Why i don't drive now ? Because... i cannot drive manual car T______T
Yes i used to drive manual car when i was learning to drive. That time i joined a driving lesson for a week ( 1 hour per day ) - manual car. And then my dad lent me his car and asked his friend to accompany me driving. So i was quite ok with manual car.. and then i was introduced to automatic car. HAHAHA.. after that i cannot return back to manual anymore. I tried but the i made the engine stopped. LOL.
Automatic car is such a blissssssssss.... I love driving and i almost always agree when anybody asked me to go out HAHAHA.... i am such a hau thiong girl la. I drove my grandpa's car and then at 2009, i had my own personal car! My parents bought it for me of course. It is a Nissan Livina. And her name is Levine. Black colour one. Oh thinking of it, i missssssss her a lot. A LOT A LOT... How many people do name their car, right? Her name is Levine because it rhymes with Livina and Avril Lavigne is one of my idols. HAHAHAHHA....
Before buying Levine, i had 3 preferences : Nissan Livina, Honda Jazz, and Toyota Vios. Because i love short (?) car. hehehe.. What is the term in English ? Low car ? I love short/low car because i have been riding in such car from kids to teenage time. The car was Toyota Twincam. hehehe.. Such an old car already.
At last i chose Nissan Livina because it is the cheapest among those 3 and I LOVE CREME/BEIGE INTERIOR! The interior of Jazz is black. And Vios is more expensive. Haha...
You know what, 2 of my best friends also had the exactly same preferences when they were going to buy car. One bought Honda Jazz instead and the other one bought Toyota Vios. And me with Nissan Livina. Haha...
Ahhh... my car, my love... So i went to Nissan showroom near my house with my parents and grandfather. There is this Livina, Grand Livina and Sport one. But i love the basic one the most and i have always wanted black car with creme/beige interior. Ahhh.... i always know what i want. hehehe... Like wedding dress, the moment i see it, i know it.. Same as car, the moment i see it, i know it.
But love is love, lazy is lazy.. Firstly i was so dilligent and i wash my car everyday in the morning. I woke up at 5.30AM (i am not a morning person!!!) just to wash car. HAHAHAHA.. Then i become lazy and i wash only like once in a few days, then gradually become once a week.. and lastly like once in every 2 weeks and it was not me who wash it anymore. I went to car salon instead. LOLLLL...
There is one time my grandpa cannot stand my car became dirty already, so he washed my car in the morning. His friends were doing morning walk and tease him because he was washing my car. They said my grandpa so kind ho doing sports aka washing my car. Oh my.. i feel SOOO BAD to my grandpa so i got angry and said to my grandpa not to wash my car. I feel bad because washing car is tiring thing lah. But my grandpa misunderstood me, he thought i got angry because i don't like people touching my car. hahaha..
Anyway... lastly i sold the car already because when i was in Korea, i need money to live. And i feel bad to my mom lah.. So i asked her to sell my car instead. T____T My Levine...
So.. yeah after that i don't have car. So sometimes i drove my grandpa's car or drive my husband's car. My husband's car is one of my least fave car. It has everything which i don't like from a car HAHAHHA... except it is also black and has creme/beige interior. LOL...
After i gave birth, my husband sold the car and changed it to Toyota Inova and it is manual! I CANNOT DRIVE T___T
And i also don't have hands to drive lah. Must hold baby all the time (yes, we still don't have car seat oopsss.. it is not a custom in Indonesia. The custom here is to hold the baby so i didn't have much knowledge bout it. But now i understand it is important). We are going to buy the car seat this weekend :D
So, yeah... since now my baby is older and does not need my boobs everytime anymore, I'd love to go out actually. I am a prisoner, man.. From monday to friday i stayed at apartment only. Only go to wet market once for 1 hour (usually on monday or tuesday). Then saturday to sunday at in law's house. I AM SUCH A SAD PERSON. Only sunday after from in law's house, i have chance to go out. But every week is such a dilemma. I want to see my grandparents but i also want to hang out. So usually i choose one of it this week and choose the other one next week. Choosing both of it is not a choice for me coz you know my husband does not like to drive and he is also tired. So it is a part of understanding lah, i ngalah lah although i have been a prisoner all the week. hahahha..
So yeah, i missed going out. I WANT TO GO OUT LIKE CRAZY... I WANT TO DRIVE. I was imagining the time when i drove my Levine, while listening to music in the car.. ahhhhhh i miss it so much.
I want to thiong! hahaha.. i know i am still very childish lah, but i believe my childish is my charm! HAHAHAHA....
Friday, 8 August 2014
It is one of my favourite songs all the time.
A few days ago i just paid for the domain for this blog. Haha.. Such a sad blog. No update one.
I wonder why i don't take more pictures like i used to do when i was active in xanga. Even at that time, no picture also can post. I treated the blog really like a journal.
I'd love to do that but as i already promised myself so many times to write more, i keep on failing. Haha.. I don't have much confidence to write lah..
1. I don't have interesting topic to write. You see, i stay at home like 95% all the time, my story is maybe about what my son eat today. Although i am really fond of other babies such as the super adorable Fighter Tiah and Dash Dash, but i am not that interested to write about my son. hahaha.. I'd love to write more about me :P but there is almost no me already T_T
2. I am a super lazy ass. I am not in shape everyday. I miss myself.
3. etc hahaha.. lazy to say out many negative things
Now let's start to talk about happy things! hahaha..
So, i went to Bali ! I love Bali. It has this magical charm which is so beautiful. This is the 1st trip with my son using airplane! I was so worried but luckily he is okay! He didn't cry at all! Although he cannot stop touching here and there, he didn't cry. Thank you, son. hahaha..
Since i already have a son, it is hard for me to do what i wish to do. So i asked my husband to plan everything (choose the area to stay, etc). As my husband who is more a mountain person rather than beach. Also he is more fond of quiet place rather than crowded place. We ended up spending our holiday in : Seminyak (this is because we got free villa to stay, not because my husband want to), Ubud, Kintamani, and Nusa Dua.
And as some of you who might know or guess, those places are not really the places i love. HAHAHA... Though Kintamani quite have a place in my heart. Basically, every places which got my heart when i first visited Bali in 2009 if i am not mistaken, still and always got place in my heart.
By the way, since i cannot access my xanga blog anymore, but thankfully they still keep the copy of my blog and i can export it to wordpress. I exported it to wordpress here: http://rabbitloveskim.wordpress.com/
Though my blog has nothing to be proud of - i was and always is a silly girl, but i sometimes still re-read my old entries. hehe.
That time i also visited Kintamani, i still remember i was so in loveeeeee with the view.. despite i am not a mountain person. It is indeed like a painting. It was so so so beautiful and i took many pictures of the view to combine it later and make panorama of them.
This time, as we spend a night there, i got chance to see more of Kintamani.. It is so beautiful, it reminds me of Lake Toba. I remember when i went to Tongging with my family. Oh my.. the view in Tongging is so beautiful, so so so beautiful... I think Tongging has one of the best views i have ever seen in my life.
|Husband and my son at Kintamani viewing the lake.|
This place reminds me of Tongging in North Sumatera viewing Lake Toba.
So, apparently this Kintamani also got this area which reminds me of the savannah at Bromo mountain. That place also got my heart in 2009. I felt like didn't want to go home at that savannah.
|Husband and my son at Kintamani - the place which reminds me of savannah at Bromo mountain|
I don't have many pictures of my trip because... my hands are always full. hahaha.. full of taking care of baby. Also i really got lost interest of taking photos for a long time since i became uglier. Before i became uglier, in my bag ALWAYS got camera. i ALWAYS bring my pocket camera to everywhere.
Hopefully one day (SOON!) i gain back my confidence and become pretty again before i lost my charm forever which i hope it will never happen. CHOI CHOI. HAHAHAHA..
Ending this post with a pic of three of us! Me without any make up. Even can see the stitch i have on the forehead hahaha... Though no make up, i still have beautiful smile. HAHAHAHA.. Self praise always! Noone praise me but me myself moi! hahaha..
Friday, 13 December 2013
Omg it has been half a year since my last post! My sad blog. I just fed baby and seeing him so cute, healthy, content, sleeping well - reminds me of the first few weeks when i was struggling to establish breastfeeding.
Actually, i am really a super lazy ass girl. I don't read much about breastfeeding or formula feeding or whatever. I only know i want to breastfeed. That's all. No reason, i thought everyone supposedly try it, if can then continue.
Then, people started to telling me that breastmilk is the best and everyone can breastfeeding. I remember at first time i still answered people like, "i don't know whether my boobs can produce milk or not." Coz in my family there are a few who can't produce so i also don't know how about myself. I even haven't prepare breast pump yet at that time.
Then one of my aunties keep on telling me that everyone can breastfeed (she herself didn't breastfeed. At first the milk didn't came out yet, she got breast massage and it is so hurtful she traumatized by it and gave up. She said to me that she regret that she gave up. She said that time she didn't have much knowledge bout breastfeeding yet). She kept on encouraging me because she attend a seminar in her office, the seminar is bout breastfeeding so now she has knowledge bout it. Later, she is really helpful and she is one of the people who makes me success establishing breastfeeding. Thanks so much! ♥
Then i also attend lactation session 1 time at the end of my pregnancy. The lactation consultant said that everyone can breastfeed, she taught us about latch on, etc. I was sooo optimist that i also will establish breastfeeding easily.
Then the day came. I gave birth by c-sect. As it is unplanned c-sect, i can say that i haven't have much knowledge yet coz i didn't do the research for c-sect things!
Doctor placed baby on my chest but not for too long. Baby has not found nipple yet and i had to separate with baby already! Hiks. Whole night i separated from baby (i think i came out from surgery room around 11 pm?). Nurse delivered baby the next day in the morning.
Baby came and i started to let baby latch on. As i already joined lactation session and i know how is the right latch on position, i can say i am lucky that baby can latch on well!
For 3 nights in hospital, baby roomed in with us (me and husband) for almost 24 hours a day. Only separated when nurse take baby to bath. Baby cried (of course) and everytime he cried i let him suck.
Everytime nurse asked whether my breastmilk has came out, i said i don't know (i am a first time mommy right? Lol). Until a nurse saw me while i am feeding baby (though i dont know if there is milk or not - i just let baby suck), nurse said i got breastmilk already by seeing the baby's lips wet. Then she expressed my breastmilk using her hand to show me the milk. I remember my reaction was, "oohhhh jadi itu asi?" Hahahaa.
Baby's doctor also came one time while i was nursing and he saw me. He said that baby is good at sucking already. Wah i was so happy lah, though baby cried a lot too and want to suck everytime, despite being exhausted, i believe in myself so much - that my body will always make the exact amount of milk which my baby needs.
Until.... i was too exhausted - not because of baby's crying. But because of people's words!! One thing i learned from my experience: don't listen to people as people have different style of raising child and believe in yourself that you know the best for your child.
Before, even though baby cried a lot, i didn't get stress because i already read that baby's only language is crying. So crying does not always mean hunger!
But since people tried to teach me this and that. I got stressed. And when baby cries, people always assume that baby is hungry. They kept on telling me that my breastmilk is insufficient and baby is hungry therefore crying. They touch baby's chin or cheek and as baby has that rooting reflex, baby will always open mouth when got touch. I actually has read it before but as i am a first time mom - i was not strong enough. People told me that baby is hungry because baby opened the mouth.
I started to get stress. What i believe in myself regarding breastfeeding started to gone. I started to wonder is my breastmilk really insufficient? I still tried to stay strong by replying to people that baby does not need to drink much yet and etc which i learned from lactation session or read from other source. People said i am crazy to make baby starving, etc etc.
Then the other nightmare came, confinement lady. She also kept on saying to me that my breastmilk is insufficient!! She kept repeating it again and again and again everytime baby cries. Baby cried at midnight, she said my breastmilk not enough therefore baby cannot sleep well. Wtf! Baby does need to suck a lot at the early weeks to help you establish breastfeeding. I know why many people giving up breastfeeding, coz it is real hard to establish. Really need patience and support. If i listened much to people and the confinement lady - i think i will not breastfeeding anymore now.
I think about 2 nights i stayed in the same room with confinement lady where she kept on telling me ALL THE TIME that my breastmilk is insufficient. Fuck you, you should have been supporting me instead of making me even more stress! ( i used harsh word as i really really dislike the confinement lady i had - but that is for another post - having her was a nightmare for me. Even thinking of her now while writing this makes me angry coz she is really a nightmare )
Coz confinement lady kept on making me stress by saying i dont have enough milk and i dislike her already (not for only this), the next day i moved to master bedroom to sleep with my husband - co sleeping with baby. As baby is still so young and still wakes up a lot, at 2 am baby cried. My husband who was tired of working and all, reached his boiling point. He said lets give baby formula. At that day, i already asked him to buy a can of formula coz i already thought that my milk was not enough (because of people's saying!!!!). So confinement lady give baby 30ml and baby slept through the night, slept until 7 am in the morning!!
I had been crying a lottt since i first get stressed out. I cried day and night. I cried because of everything. Because i started thinking i have insufficient milk, because suddenly i have someone who i dislike (confinement lady) in the house, because i feel not comfortable in my own body, i feel sad, i cannot help my husband working, etc. Despite of knowing already that stress can make milk not flowing, but still i cried like crazy (maybe baby blues). At that time only 3 people have faith in me that i can do breastfeeding: my husband, my auntie who i mentioned earlier, and auntie in hongkong who kept on asking for tips from a friend who is breastfeeding.
So, after baby got his first 30ml formula and slept for 5 hours straight, i knew it is not right. I knew i must not give baby formula anymore coz if i give more, confirm 100% milk supply will be really become insufficient because baby don't suck ( no trigger - no demand ). Formula is harder to digest that is why baby sleep longer (feel full for longer time than breastfed baby).
We went to doctor for baby's 1st check up and the birilubin is high! Baby only passed meconium a bit when he was still in hospital and that's all. Maybe my milk did really not flowing well as i stressed out. Also we haven't sunbathe baby at all! (Confinement lady also don't do wtf)
We checked in into the hospital and baby was given blue light. Mother in law also came to stay with us in the hospital.
Ohya i forgot to tell, at that check up session, i gained back my confidence. Doctor asked me if i still breastfeeding. I said that we gave a 30ml formula. Doctor asked me why did i do that because i and baby were actually doing great when he visited me while i was nursing! So i was like wtf i must not listen to people who made me lost faith in myself - thinking i cannot produce enough milk.
So i started to be less stressed. But still, we gave baby another 30ml formula that night. When baby cried and i was pumping ( first time pumping - rent breast pump from the hospital - coz i want to measure how much milk i can get to prove to people i have enough milk so people can stop giving me stress), with mother in law there ... with a heavy heart, we gave baby formula. After that, baby passed meconium. Mother in law said that it is good for baby to had the formula as the meconium is out now. I remember i smiled weirdly to her coz actually i was kinda sad.
And the result of the pumping is i got 30ml! I happily announced that baby is eating 30ml and i also pumped out 30ml! Proof that body always make the amount baby needs! (I do feed on demand btw). Since that, nobody push me to give formula to baby anymore. And that is how i established breastfeeding. So total of the formula baby had until today is those 60ml. I am glad i can passed through the hard times and not giving up.
My milk supply is sufficient though i dont have stock in the refrigerator / freezer because i rarely do express breastmilk (i feed on demand). I only express breastmilk if i need to be separated from baby eg when i go to wet market for grocery shopping.
So, yeah establishing breastfeeding is kinda hard. Had sleepless night and so exhausted. But all you need is to be strong, not giving up easily, have faith and believe in your own body, get as much support as you can, and don't listen to people much (limiting visitor is a good way).
You know what, until now ya.. there are still people who think that i do wrong. People told me that baby must be given plain water. But as i know, exclusive breastfeeding means we gave nothing else including water except breastmilk. So i stick to my own decision to not give water to baby.
Believe in yourself !
Thursday, 20 June 2013
It's for our honeymoon. Bali always has a part in my heart because one of the things i wanted to do before i die, i did it in Bali - which is surfing ! I never really make a list of things i wanted to do before i die, but there are some things which has been always in my mind that one day i want to try them. All of this time, i always had crushes with surfer, either the surfer is a man (from random tanned Japanese with facial hair one to random maybe Italian guy with shoulder hair length one) or just random woman. LOL.
Though i did promise to do surfing again the next time i visit a beach for surfing, but i didn't keep my promise LOL. I think somehow i have lost some of my adventurous feeling (or dare) as i grew older T_T (bungee jumping was one of my to do things before i die but now i don't think i can do it LOLLL)
So, this honeymoon trip is the 2nd time i went to Bali!
Actually, this trip we don't go around much because we didn't plan where to go.
We stayed for 3 nights in Bali. 1st night in Ubud area, and the rest in Nusa Dua area. (My husband chose it since he has been to Bali for a few times and he likes those both area).
In Ubud area, we stayed in a great resort called Komaneka.
I love our spacious room!
|I love how they care for the details like providing insect repellent|
|And i love how they also provide mouthwash|
|Want to use bath tub or shower? You choose.|
|And this is the view from our room !|
We love love love the foods so much. It is very unique and delicious. And the price is affordable (very price wise). I think it is Indonesian foods but with a twist ? So unique! And the owner and staffs are very nice. My husband also really love the foods here.
I cannot remember why but i didn't take pictures much T___T
We stayed for 2 nights in Nikko Hotel. The private beach is very nice and clean, the water is very blue and clear. So pretty. I wonder why i didn't take my camera with me so i don't have the pictures ( i think because no one will take care of our belongings so i prefer to leave my camera inside the hotel room ).
As a person who has never stayed in a private beach like so, it was something which i don't expect of. I thought there will be people who do surfing (so i can have more crushes LOL), etc. But.. it is a private beach, it's like only two of us and some other people only. I don't know what to do, really. LOL.. If you like to enjoy the beach privately, this is the place for you.
At night we just stayed in the hotel and had buffet there while seeing people performing traditional dances.
The next day, we went around Kuta area for a while upon my request (my husband don't like Kuta area because it is crowded - he doesn't like crowded place). I myself love Kuta because i did my 1st time surfing there! Of course it has a place in my heart LOL.. So, after that we went to Seminyak area.
We played at the beach first and then before sunset time, we entered this restaurant called Breeze which is located at The Samaya Villas, Seminyak. It is a good place to watch sunset, so remember to come before sunset time!
|Sunset pic with human object seems cool, so i randomly took a pic when i saw people passed by.|
Then i showed it to my husband.
He said "But these 2 are both men!" LOL.. so it is not a romantic pic. hahaha.
Some of the foods we had. I didn't take pictures of all the foods because when the sky turned dark, my camera can't take good pictures anymore ( i don't really like to use flash ). But i remember everything is delicious. And the waiter who served us is really nice. He asked us about how is the food, etc.
Saturday, 15 June 2013
I just suddenly wanted to update my blog after a long long time. Why i don't blog for a long time already is because i don't have much stories to share as now i don't go around that much as before and i also don't hang out around like before. All the place i go everytime is only my grandparent's house, market, and parent-in-law's house. Sometimes go to the mall or supermarket only. Even sometimes i feel sorry for my lovely bags or shoes which i want to wear but got no chance to wear it. But i feel even more sorry for my lovely clothes which used to fit me beautifully but now cannot fit at all anymore! To make it sound even sadder, the saddest thing of all is i miss my beautiful skin and hair! T______T
I haven't write in this blog because i am not that happy with my current body ( of course i am still not that happy with it until now, who is happy with feeling uglier ? ), but it is a reality which i cannot run away from - that i am already pregnant. And now it is 27 weeks already! Another trimester and i am really an ajumma ajumma ( but i refused to be a total ajumma, i am still young and i prefer to be like a sister to my child later HUAHUAHHAHA... i wanna laugh at myself as i typed previous sentence. But indeed i don't wanna be that old yet! I believe i look younger than my real age LOLLL )
I even don't have much picture to accompany this post because i just don't love to take picture of my uglier state. LOL.
First trimester, i was still quite pretty, nothing much has changed except i vomit so many times in a day, i cannot cook ( the smell of cooking makes me vomit and the thing i scared to see the most at that time is salmon, chicken, and brocolli. Raw chicken is the scariest, when i saw it in the freezer, i ran to bathroom directly to vomit ). Because i vomit so many times and my medium/long hair doesn't help me at all with my vomit activity, i cut my hair short. I still look quite good at that time because my skin and my body has not changed much.
|Taken on early April with my short hair.|
Body still not changed that much, although skin already getting worse.
Second trimester, even my auntie said to me in hokkien "lu e bin cin cin be khua liau" (your face really cannot be seen anymore) coz my skin has changed A LOT. My beautiful skin - which i love a lot, suddenly got so many acne. I cannot bother to put any skin care anymore. (though now i started to use my skin care again already coz i feel my skin is getting better now). I simply to scared to put anything on my skin coz i am afraid that it will make my skin worse. So, i didn't do make up, didn't apply skin care. Uglier for sure. And everyone knows that i am having a baby boy even though i don't tell them because of my skin which is uglier (old wives' tales - uglier means having baby boy) and the shape of my stomach which is really big and goes to the front like carrying a basketball. And my hair which is getting longer makes me looks so ugly that i decided to cut it again (even shorter) at one of my favourite salon. But really, nothing much i can do to make myself looks good. So i still feel ugly although better than before.
|And then boom. Being more far from what i love from myself.|
But i used some make up in this pic so looks not that bad.
So here i am, going to enter the third trimester soon!
Though, feeling the baby moving inside the stomach does feel quite good and can make you miss it, but it is really not a synchronize feeling with what i feel about myself. It simply does not have a mutually exclusive event between those two.
I miss everything! My medium length with a bit (permed) wavy hair, my skin, my body, my clothes (esp the skirt! i love skirt a lot a lot). I hope i can go back as before ASAP! Lol. Like this:
|or this. I really like my condition at this time also. My skin is so good (minimum make up).|
|or this. My most favourite pic of my wedding day. hahahaha....|
With the dress i really love, simple and tulle ball gown, lovely flowers, perfect! hehehe
Wednesday, 10 April 2013
Actually i have known this song a few years ago, it's from a Korean drama called "Marry me, Mary".
A few days ago, when i was watching TV, i saw this drama again on the TV, and so that makes me want to listen to this song again.
Jang Keun Suk 장근석 is a very popular artist. When i was in Korea, i saw his picture a lot a lot! Especially at Myeongdong coz he's an ambassador for a cosmetic brand. And also there are many merchandise of him! One time i saw a pair of earring with Jang Keun Suk picture. I wonder who will really wear that earring. LOL. But maybe there are! Coz my husband said that Jang Keun Suk is super super popular in Japan! He is adored by many Japanese fans.
To think of it, yeah he is actually quite appealing :P
As a person who also like J music and also quite in love with people like Sugizo, i myself think Jang Keun Suk is quite amusing to see. At some time, i think that he looks somehow feminine (i don't really fond of), but at some point when i was also thinking about Sugizo or Yoshiki, Jang Keun Suk become very nice to see :P
Disregard his appearance, i really really like his voice. I think his voice and the way he sings (in this particular song, coz i don't know much of him), is super love! And really J singing type! Now i understand why he is loved by so many Japanese fans. hehe.
And actually i think his hair does look nice :P
Thursday, 14 March 2013
The title is same with Timothy Tiah's post because i suddenly want to write about the difference i feel after i got married and i like Timothy's post because his post is honest. And i also want to write honestly coz honesty is the best policy after all (my principal).
How it feels to be married?
Firstly, because i have been working together with my husband before we got married, everything feel almost the same. I met him everyday, etc. The difference maybe is because we don't have to be apart from each other anymore at the end of the day. He don't need to drop me at home anymore coz now we live at the same house.
Regarding the house chores, since i am not a very dillligent person so yeah i clean the house everytime i want only.. LOL. (we have no maid). Luckily my husband don't have any OCD so he is okay with a little bit messy house hahahaha ( i am not very messy lah coz i have a bit OCD ). But i just don't really care too much regarding stuff i don't like/not interested with.
But, the most significance different feeling i have after i got married is about my own selfishness/ego stuff:
- Same like Timothy, i also miss the excitement of being single. The feeling is just so nice if we know/guess that maybe we have person/people who like/care/adore/admire us. Same like how i really like to like/care/adore/admire other people ! I still do admire a lot of people! The feeling of being liked by other(s) is just so lovely, because we know that we are valuable/loveable/adorable/cute/etc. And of course it boosts your confidence a lot! (this is why i always give sign or say directly to the people i adore that they are special or that i adore them, i never praise for lip service only ok! i praise coz i really like and i hope it will give you more confidence and do better everytime <3)
- Still related to above point, i am sad how i am no longer as beautiful/attractive/etc as other unmarried girls are. I know i will always stay attractive with my own way lah! (i am confident with this. LOL) but the difference is, for example now if you see a photo of an unmarried person that you like/adore/admire/care. Even though the person has boyfriend/girlfriend already, but you can have the feeling of something around "what will it be if i am with him/her" or "i really like this person" or etc. I think it is like "wanting". So if someone is still unmarried, people will still want him/her. But now since i am married, i am no longer wanted anymore HUHUHUHUHU T____________T Married person is out of the marketplace! LOL
- So still related to all the points above, now when i see people who i admire and still unmarried, i somehow envy them! LOLLLL
Ok, but though those points above seems like marriage only do good to me, but actually there are many things which is nice too. It is just the "nice" feeling is not like "nice of being single" feeling anymore. It is so different so it cannot be compared together. It is just so much more complex and you are like going to the next step of the life game and the purpose of your life changed.
- How i started to be more concern about health. Coz i see my husband working so hardly and he already used up so much energy at workplace. The important thing i want is good health of him. Not that i love to do sports, but i have much more control now not to eat/cook/crave for instant noodles, fast food, etc so he will not eat it too.
- How working does seem really more challenging than before since the expense now and future is more complex than ever before.
- And other life problems (but not problems like jealousy and other similar "childish" stuff). But the thing is, the more i think of it, problems are not really the obstacles of marriage life. I see that problems are things which actually make a couple become closer coz we really need to solve it because we need to survive this life.
- Basically, i am also grateful because i am married to the right person who i can live the life with. And i love how we are still the same like before coz we are already true to each other from the beginning. No bad habits which i can't accept, we still like before we are married, giving each other personal time too, etc. I also love how we can still constantly adore each other (don't know about him lah, but i still have constant adoration to him). *i believe i am always adorable too. LOL. i have bubbly personality!* I am lucky coz actually we both are really considerate to each other lah. hehe.
Yeah, so i think that is how it feels to be married.